When is enough ... well enough?

There seems to be a disagreement among me and mine. I think getting drunk and staying up all night, while of course conversing with other females .. just not ok! Really! I am at a loss for what to do. I am so sick and tired of the same old bullshit! For the last four years (well that I know of), my dear darling husband has been having little facebook relationships with random skanks!
He is slick though, he only gets caught occasionally, you know when the massive amount of alcohol intake helps him miss a delete of a message.
I think the best one to date is the very first one I found! While asking me to come look at his facebook page at a lovey note he wrote to me, he forgot to exit out of his prior conversation. This other conversation had a whole bunch of "I love you" in it. So doesn't that make my sweet little note nothing but repetitive, and worth nothing. The next one I found was when he was actually making fun of me because I was sick. That was classic. The lies that he tells these ignorant douche bags is even ridiculous. One even had the nerve to tell him to have me come up to NY to see her. BIG mistake.. HUGE! I guess she must be ill informed about the fact that I am not a very nice person when pissed off.
When is enough .. well enough?
I guess maybe I am a masochist!
The last one I found has actually progressed from facebook to the phone. Best part, biggest kicker... she's a lesbian. WTF!
Is it his undying yearning to piss me off, or is he just such a weak insecure man that he needs these other women make him feel like a man? I don't get it, I really dont!
So tonight I am out Christmas shopping and my dear sweet darling fuckhead decides .. oh she's not here .... let me drink and get on the phone. And lie, lie, lie!
While out with a girlfriend of mine today I recieved a little cat call.. and it was nice, but I wasn't like yeah baby give me those digits.
Anybody have an answer how a man can be such a raging fucking asshole?

OOOOH yeah and the really great kicker for the evening is... he is drinking and invites people over tomorrow to watch football. Did I even get a choice...nope. Did I get a .. hey babe any plans tomorrow ... nope. You wanna know what I got... hold your asses this is a good one. After I get back from Christmas shopping and I am already pissed because super drunk is in the building I get these sweet caring loving words....

"This is how it's gonna be, I got people coming over tomorrow to watch football, and there will be snacks, and my house will be spotless!"

Now if it were just some guys coming over, no biggy I could just go about my own business. Nope one is bringing his wife. Now I really do like his wife, but I have a college paper due tomorrow that I need to finish. Soooo.... guess my wants and needs just don't count.

Maybe I need hot steamy online romances like he seems to adore. Maybe then I wouldn't give a shit about anything but me and what I want! I am so fucking tired of him being so blind. We can't even go out to a bar without him getting angry because I have guys hit on me. Even in the local store I get special smiles. Now I ignore all this. I think I may need to start smiling back.

It really sucks feeling like I am just not enough. But then I think about the things I do, you know the "things" I do. Any many would love to pampered the way he is. I think it just might be getting close to divorce 0'clock. I want to be appreciated, and played with, and adored equally. I am sick of this one way relationship, where truthfully alcohol seems to run it! I am worth a lot more than having to compete with lonely facebook skanks!
Okay, I have done the ranting of a housewife, now maybe I will go surf facebook! HA!

Why?

If you are happy in your marriage, why would you do things to hurt your partner? I don't get it! How in one breath can you say that you want to be with a person and then turn around and take flirting with some one else to a whole new level?
Recently my spouse has taken lying and flirting to a place where it makes me physically ill! I have seen that he has conversations with other women from his past on facebook. I told him how much this bothers me, and even went so far as to not even go on facebook myself. Any enjoyment I took from going online and playing the apps has been destroyed. Every time I went on, all these girls stalking his page was thrown in my face. He accused me of being paranoid and crazy. Now there is a history of him making it very clear to me that he cannot be just friends with a girl. I am by no means perfect, and have made mistakes myself. The last big mistake I made being two years ago. Yesterday he had wrote something sweet about me for the whole world to see, yet he made an error and asked me to go look at it. When I went online his facebook page was up along with a conversation he was having with some bitch from NY. The parts I got to see before he ripped the mouse out of my hand to delete it painted quite the picture!

Her: get your ass to work
Him: I'm home today
Her: I'll be right there

another part

Her: miss you
Him: miss you too
Her: love ya xoxo

This is only two little parts that I got to see. I can only imagine the rest of it! He tried to tell me that it was nothing. If that was the case wouldn't I have been able to read it? I know better! I'm not stupid!
After about an hour of fighting, and him lying, he finally admitted that "maybe I flirted too much, but I didn't think it was a big deal"... YOU FUCKING THINK SO?
Now I am stuck with what to do. It's one lie after another, and one heartbreak after another. I know the obvious is to kick his ass to the curb. What a fucking Jerry Springer wanna be am I!!

I got three kids to think about and 18 years of my life involved. What the hell do I do? When is I'm sorry said one too many times? When is it will never happen again supposed to be believed?

Not only is the lying and being verbally romantic with other women weighing heavy on my soul, but the whole issue of why did he do it. Was I not stimulating enough for him that I couldn't keep his interest? Or is he just an insecure sick fuck who is just never satisfied with what he has.

This whole situation is just so fucking horrid that I needed to vent some where. Any advice is appreciated. There is 18 years of back and forth fuck ups to be taken into consideration, but really for the nonsense to be still going on now is inane.

OOPS!

So after my first post, my hubby and oldest daughter read it and I was severely scolded. LMAO! I was scolded by my child for not mentioning exactly how funny and pretty and wonderful she is. Well please let me correct myself! She is soooo very very funny and extremely beautiful and oh so talented and wonderful!
My hubby. HMMM about that! I think I didn't mention him in my first post because I could just go on and on about him. We have been married for 16 years now. It is insane how long that is! I won't say that they have all been wonderful. Not even close. We are way too alike to really get along all the time. He has his certain shall we say "quirks" that I just still can't seem to get a grip on. He has come a long way since I first married him, yet there is still that rebellious part of him that I haven't quite figured out how to break him of. It's those little moments that really make me want to kill him. lol For the most part we are your average married couple. We laugh, love, fight, scream, love, laugh. He has truly became a part of me. I would feel a huge loss if we were not together. Eventually I think I will be able to break him of his naughty habits and we will live in bliss. How boring would that be, everyday everything peachy keen. BLAH!
I find way too much humor in our small tiffs. I could do without the big ones though! Such as I get up early so I can make his lunch for him, and he leaves the coffee pot empty, RRRRRRR! I say I am exhausted from the kids fighting and yelling and he resolves it by .. yup you got it.. fighting and yelling! Another thing I can't understand is the whole unable to go to bed when your tired. What is the big kick about sleeping on the couch? I don't get it. Is that a guy thing or just a my guy thing? There are all these little things that drive me crazy, however I wouldn't live without them. Keeps me on my toes.
I look forward to many many more years of him driving me nuts!
There I have rectified my errors and I can with good conscience get on with the rest of my day! I may post again today if something strikes my fancy.

Dishes are done dude.

Another day another dish. Did you ever stop and think that there has just got to be more than this? I sit here with all these wonderful thoughts of what I want to accomplish in a day, and end up doing dishes. Sad very sad! My Daddy (yes I am 36 and still call him Daddy) came over yesterday to swap out my front door for a new one. This was a much needed task! Well I had company of a certain sort. Not normally a big issue for me, but when it starts to become something that adds stress to my day (such as Daddy getting frustrated from little feet) I tend to start to twitch and want to hurt some one. Now normally I just say what it is I am thinking and the hell with how it makes someone else feel. I am having an issue with this one. I don't want to seem rude and start issues where issues need not be. If I were to say "could you get the hell out now" it would roller coaster into this big ordeal of me playing favorites and blah blah blah. Well what the hell, when is enough is enough? I know that if I were going to go to some one's house and be their guest I would certainly pay attention to the signs of them having enough. If I were to say "I just need to use your internet for an hour" I wouldn't stay for 5. I know that if this blog is read by certain people it will be taken way too far, however I have to vent somewhere, and well this seems the best place. I am hoping that lack of interest in what I actually have to say keeps some eyes away. I don't want to be a bitch, it just gets tiring, but when no options are left but to be a bitch well then that's what must happen.
Anyway hubby says I am being used and taken for granted. Think so? I see it. I raised my kids and have no patience for little ones anymore. I can handle an hour maybe 2 then the nerves get shattered and I am ready to scream. Thank God I can have no more! It is also really hard to get motivated to clean your home when you have people just sitting around doing nothing. If you are gonna come to my home I would expect either get off your ass and lend a hand or get the hell out of my way! Right? Feasible expectations! This brings me back to the only getting the dishes done. How can you possibly feel like doing any sort of household chores while people are in your home and in your way? Then I get the whole lecture of why nothing got done from the spouse. Ugh, you know. No win situation. I don't mind company coming over and using my internet, not at all, especially when they worry about what they can do to make your life a little easier. Then you just get that one person who just pushes it too far. The funniest part is using my internet and then complaining to others that you can not concentrate at my house. LMAO. Well stay away then, hehehe. I love you, I do, but seriously take the whole "world revolves around me" attitude and leave it some where else.
Hopefully my day will go a little better today! It is only 8:30 and my dishes are done, and the good company has shown up to clean my counters. Now that is love! So I will have my 80's - 90's hip hop cranking, dancing around like a lunatic, running through my daily routine and pray that things are a lot less chaotic today!
Until the next rant, may all your company be pleasant!!